Early in the term, I realized one of the students, Benji, was the type of student who would have trouble following the social norms of the class—such as coming to class on time. I had heard that other teachers had struggled with him, and I could imagine how they approached him. I knew I was going to have to be creative.

One day, there was a loud lawn mower outside out room, so I asked Benji if he could do me a favor and close the window. He smiled, jumped up, closed it and returned to his seat. Then he looked at me and we smiled at each other. From that day on, I noticed Benji becoming much more cooperative, including coming to class on time.

I suddenly realized the power of the phrase, “Could you do me a favor?”

It seems logical that if we do a favor for someone–like lending them a pen–it will make them more likely to reciprocate and do us a favor, for example, make some photocopies for us. However, the Benji experience was the reverse. Psychologists call it the “Benjamin Franklin Effect.” Asking someone for a small, easily fulfilled favor (like borrowing a pen, asking for directions, or opening a window) is often more effective at building a connection than offering to do something for them, which can sometimes feel transactional or overwhelming.

Prior to Benji opening the window for me, he probably had a self-image of himself as “I don’t usually follow rules or cooperate with teachers.” But performing that small action shifted his internal narrative to: “David trusts me. And I did a favor for him, so I must actually respect him.”

A student who helps a teacher begins to perceive themselves as someone who supports that teacher, naturally leading to a greater willingness to follow classroom norms. After that experience, I felt a great relief. I no longer had to play the role of disciplinarian or police officer. Instead, students could see me as someone who trusted them.

I realized I could also use this phrase to reframe how I handled common classroom disruptions. By wrapping a directive in a request for a personal favor, it removes the adversarial edge:

Ÿ When a student continued to arrive late, I would say (with a smile) privately, “Felix, could you do me a favor? Could you try to get to class on time? It would really help me start the class.”

Ÿ When two students tended to chat during class, I would say (with a smile) privately, “Maria and Aya, could you do me a favor? Could you not chat during a lesson? I’m sure the other students and I would appreciate it.”

When a student had a habit of continually checking his phone during class, I would say (with a smile) privately, “Ren, could you do me a favor? Could you turn your phone off during class? I’d appreciate it.”

This approach works because helping others is inherently satisfying. According to neurological research, our brains are wired for altruism. Studies show that when we do something for others, the part of the brain that becomes active is the same one stimulated by food and rewards. In other words, cooperation feels good.

By using this six-word phrase, I’m not only able to redirect the students in a positive manner but also adding some pleasure to their day.

David Kehe
Faculty Emeritus